Disclaimer: Creeping Darkness does not support or condone 80s hairstyles or pouty looks.I hate tanks. I hate the smarmy grins of the untouchable missile launcher guys, safe in their oversized metal longjohns. And most of all, I hate watching my dark lances bounce off their protective layer of Darklight Protection Factor 30+ Zinc cream.
In fact, I found the disabling and disintegration of these glorified wheeliebins problematic even in 4th edition, before the 5th edition damage chart revised their survivability to levels that may see Land Raiders joining the other cockroaches after the nuclear holocaust. Even when I resorted to packing more dark lances than splinter rifles, the thrice-cursed boxes often took the distinctly rude option of placing themselves in cover, ensuring that not even a direct hit from Ron Jeremy's wang could remove them from the tabletop.
Hence, one of the curvier Dark Eldar lists that I've come up with, and now share with the anonymous internet at large. As you may have gathered from the title and preceding rant, it picks the haywire ball up from where a drunk Phil Kelly left it, and runs screaming toward the distant horizon of suicide-by-horde-army.
At 1,500 points:
Haemonculus with liquifier and venom blade [65]
8 Wyches, including a shardnet and a hekatrix (agoniser), all with haywire [136]
Raider with dark lance and enhanced aethersails [65]
Haemonculus with liquifier and venom blade [65]
8 Wyches, including a shardnet and a hekatrix (agoniser), all with haywire [136]
Raider with dark lance and enhanced aethersails [65]
10 Scourges, including a solarite and 4 haywire blasters [270]
5 Scourges, including 2 haywire blasters [130]
5 Scourges, including 2 haywire blasters [130]
Talos with chainflails and haywire blaster [115]
Talos with chainflails and haywire blaster [115]
Voidraven with 4 shatterfield missiles, night shield, flickerfield [205]
Total 1497 points, 10 haywire blasters, 12 KP, only two troops.
Obviously there are only two units that can actually take haywire blasters, so this somewhat limits the spammability of them. Luckily, a Talos is one such unit; putting some power weapon hand to hand grunt into an otherwise pretty oddball list.
In objective missions, the two wych squads start in reserve, and hope that the enemy have grown tired enough of static shocks that they are milling around on foot. In kill point missions they can get stuck in straight away, using their haywire grenades to fuck shit up, or at least give little tickles to any tanks that they can find. Hence the haemonculus, giving them Feel No Pain as a modicum of protection against both annoyed vehicles that have the temerity of exploding instead of being quietly wrecked, and also against the wrath of passengers who have now realised that they will have to walk home.
The Scourges fly around at approximately 24", stunning vehicles left, right, and centre. The large squad can pick preferentially on vehicle squadrons; any damage result prevents a squadroned vehicle from shooting (at least, with its best gun), as immobilised results lead to death. Four haywire blasters in a unit have a respectable 40% chance of inflicting 3 or 4 damage rolls on an unsuspecting adversary, and a 76.5% chance of inflicting at least two. Naturally these may be subject to cover saves, reducing the odds of rendering a whole squadron ineffective, but still, good times.
The Talos' provide some support to the Scourges, picking other vehicles to try and stun, and if possible assault. With the chainflails, a Talos can be quite deadly to vehicles, and unlike the rest of the Dark Eldar army, has a decent chance of monstering whatever was inside, massed power fists notwithstanding.
The voidraven could be swapped out for another Talos, or a foot squad to hold home base, but is really here to add a more conventional dimension of ranged anti-tank with its twin void lances. That, coupled with 4 rather dangerous shatterfield missiles to thin out the numbers of any advancing hordes before they get too cocky. The S7 missiles mean that in a pinch they could be used against a parking lot, especially if other passengers have been forced out nearby for a two-fer.
Of course, Tyranids will laugh at this list, and so will any foot castle based armies. At least the Scourges can still kick out some anti-infantry poison with shardcarbines, though personally I would reserve everything and hope for the best.
Worst case, at least opposing tank commanders should be mildly annoyed. And that's what really matters!
